Well… you’re here, aren’t you? It’s not like someone accidentally goes shopping for a full-body football as a costume. You didn’t stumble onto this page. You chose to come here, and that makes all the difference. Or maybe you really did stumble here. Maybe fate has a way of leading you toward your destiny. You’re probably wondering how dressing up as a giant pigskin football could possibly be anyone’s destiny, but partner, we’ve seen things you wouldn’t believe. You’re darn right it’s someone’s destiny, so why not yours? When was the last time you felt certain about anything? But somehow… Somehow you’re still here, looking at this costume, reading this description, and you’re thinking “Wow, what if this is really… me?”Wonder no more, friend. You’re here now and you are the chosen one. No more are you Lucy, holding the football! No more are you Charlie Brown while Lucy snatches the football away at the last moment! No, you are the football. Your friends sneer at you as they demand you root for a specific team? Those silly peasants. Without you, there would be no teams. There would be no game! That’s how powerful this football costume really is. It’s the power over a national pastime. All of the little footballs look up to you, and more importantly, they obey you! It’s what you say goes now. Is Odell Beckham, Jr. going to catch that pass and thereby cost you your fantasy football week? Not if Lord of the Footballs has anything to say about it! See? We told you it was your destiny!